Phone Anxiety: How to Overcome It

Do you hate phone calls? Do you flinch when the phone rings? You’re not alone. Many people dread the awkwardness associated with phone calls. Whether it’s a planned conversation or an unexpected call from a stranger, it can be nerve-wracking. Many people prefer to communicate over email and text — heck, some would rather catch a carrier pigeon than pick up the phone.

If you struggle with phone calls, you might be experiencing phone anxiety. Phone anxiety isn’t a clinical term or a diagnosis, but it is a common phenomenon. When this fear becomes extreme, it’s known as telephobia. Occasionally, anxiety related to talking on the phone can also be a sign of anxiety disorders.

When phone anxiety becomes severe, it can lead to a potentially harmful avoidance of using the phone. Usually, people are able to overcome their discomfort, but it can take some work. If your quality of life (personal or professional) suffers because you avoid calls for essential tasks like scheduling doctor’s appointments or handling work matters, it may be time to work on overcoming the fear.

Luckily, phone anxiety is treatable! But to treat it, you need to understand what’s really going on. Let’s start with the basics and then dive into how to overcome phone anxiety.

Phone anxiety is a specific type of anxiety centered around the experience of making or receiving phone calls. In other words, phone anxiety is essentially when your anxiety symptoms arise only in relation to using or thinking about using the phone. When anxiety is triggered by a single factor, rather than being present more generally, it’s a sign of a phobia.

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time — whether it's a tight chest, rapid breathing, or a racing heart. However, if these feelings and symptoms interfere with your ability to do daily tasks, function normally, and maintain a good quality of life, you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder, whether or not that includes phone anxiety.

The most noticeable signs of phone anxiety include being scared to make phone calls, avoiding them altogether, and experiencing anxiety when a call comes in.

This can lead to avoidant behaviors, such as actively refusing to answer calls, using other forms of communication to avoid phone interactions, and procrastinating on necessary calls.

Over time, these behaviors can result in conflict with friends and family. It can also negatively impact professional relationships with clients, colleagues, and your boss.

A fear of phone calls often leads to the same symptoms as other anxiety disorders, but they only arise when you’re confronted with the need to use the phone. Even if the person on the other end can’t see you and your body language, you might experience some of the following emotional and physical symptoms:

• Restlessness

• Edginess

• Irritability

• Feelings of worry

• Increased heart rate

• Blushing, sweating, or shaking

• Stomachaches

• Feelings of self-consciousness

A variety of factors can cause you to feel anxiety when making phone calls. Root causes of phone anxiety could include:

• Fear of being judged negatively

• Low self-esteem

• Fear of being watched

• A certain degree of performance anxiety

• Discomfort with or fear of uncertainty 

You may notice some similarities to social anxiety, a mental health disorder.

Social anxiety disorder is a relatively common form of anxiety that affects people’s feelings toward social interactions. 

The exact causes of social anxiety aren’t known either, but underlying causes are usually some unknown combination of genetics (a family history of anxiety) and environmental factors.

For people with social anxiety, specific social interactions and scenarios  — like eating in front of others, public speaking, and even regular conversations — can trigger anxiety.

In these situations, people with social anxiety can be paralyzed by feelings of dread about what could go wrong. This can lead to isolation, depression, substance abuse, and missed opportunities for income, connection, and enjoyment.

With phone anxiety, these same fears are focused specifically on phone interactions. The concern often stems from the absence of body language, facial expressions, and other nonverbal cues that help people understand the content and context of a conversation. In other words, being unable to see someone makes it harder to interpret their tone, intentions, and emotions.

Who Gets Phone Anxiety?

There are a few different things that may make someone more likely to develop phone call anxiety:

• A personal or family history of social anxiety

• Language barriers

• Belonging to a younger generation

Interestingly, one study found that while some people with social anxiety prefer texting, others find that phone conversations help them feel less lonely and anxious. That’s an indication that phone anxiety is not the same as social anxiety disorder.

There may also be something generational at play when it comes to phone anxiety.

Millennials and Gen Z may be more used to text messages and social media communication, while Baby Boomers grew up communicating face-to-face or on the phone. So phone anxiety could simply be the result of unfamiliarity, just like your grandmother might get anxious when she’s forced to use a smartphone.

One non-scientific survey conducted by a recruitment firm found that 59 percent of Gen Zers and Millennials prefer to use email and instant messaging at work, and 50 percent were uncomfortable making calls for work. 

Lastly, some research shows that people who are non-native English speakers are more likely to experience a telephone phobia. This may be because they have an increased fear of judgment or misunderstandings when they have to speak in English.

Regardless of the cause of phone anxiety, there will likely be times when having a phone call is essential.

The good news is that phone anxiety is treatable. So, if you’re wondering how to get over phone call anxiety, here are a few treatment options, phone anxiety tips, and coping strategies to try:

Exposure Therapy

This type of behavioral therapy was developed to help people overcome their fears of specific situations and objects. It can be especially beneficial for folks who have panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and phobias, so it could be worth a shot with phone anxiety, too. The idea is that the more time you spend on the phone, the more exposure you’ll get to those negative scenarios you worry about. Eventually, you’ll see they’re not as bad as you believe. In other words, the more used you get to being a phone talker, the better you’ll become.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

This type of behavioral therapy can help you regain control over your negative thoughts and behaviors around phone calls. Research shows that CBT is helpful for a variety of anxiety disorders. Your therapist will help you learn tools to observe and resist the negative thoughts and feelings that arise with phone anxiety. For example, they might remind you not to assume that all incoming calls are bad news and learn to push past that avoidance of phone calls by reasoning away those feelings.

Medication

If you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, you may want to consider anxiety medication. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Celexa^® (escitalopram) and Zoloft^® (sertraline) are commonly prescribed for anxiety.

Relaxation Techniques 

Relaxation techniques like deep breathing can be effective at the moment you’re encountering call anxiety and help you work through those feelings. Check out our guide to relaxation techniques for anxiety to learn more details.

Preparing and practicing 

If you have an important phone call coming up, it may help to jot down a few talking points you want to cover during the call. You could run through them a few times before the call if you feel it will help you build your confidence. 

Phone call anxiety can be a frustrating experience, and it can create unnecessary stress and friction in your life. But it is possible to overcome phone anxiety.

Here’s what to keep in mind as you navigate the process:

• Though not a diagnosable mental health condition, phone anxiety is a phobia that has a few things in common with social anxiety. People who have other anxiety disorders are more likely to have phone anxiety, as are people with language barriers and those in younger generations.

• Some symptoms of phone anxiety include feelings of worry, sweating, and rapid heart rate. Those symptoms are specifically triggered by phone calls.

• Over time, avoiding phone calls can result in conflict with friends and family, and have a negative impact on professional relationships.

• Phone anxiety is treatable. Therapy, whether you choose exposure therapy or CBT, is a great option when your symptoms start to interfere with daily functioning. If you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, a healthcare provider might also recommend an anti-anxiety medication. Other coping strategies include deep breathing and meditation.

If your phone anxiety is starting to interfere with your life, consider reaching out for professional help (even via email to get started).

With time, support, patience, and practice, you can regain your quality of life and overcome your phone anxiety.

If you think you may have an anxiety disorder and you’d like to speak to a healthcare provider about your options, check out our online psychiatry platform today.